Gather some information about your crush without being stalker-y. What are they into? Where do they hang out? Meanwhile—and this is key—do interesting stuff yourself. Make weird art, go to plays and shows, skinny-dip in fountains, walk across the entire city, read The Stranger. Voilà: You’re a person with unusual and fascinating experiences and observations, and that’s hot. Now wrest control of your own mind: You are not hopelessly crushed out on this person who is so, so great—rather, you are a great, great person who would like to assess whether this person is a good fit for you (for whatever purposes you’ve got in mind). Say, “Hi, I’m [your name here],” and ask a pertinent (and ideally funny) question. Be ready to talk about what you’ve been up to and why it’s been crazy, amazing, etc. Smile and make eye contact (this is not rocket science, people). Meanwhile—and this is key—let go of any hopes or expectations about the outcome. Think of this person as a possible friend, if they seem cool. (It’s good to test all this out on people other than your crush—people with whom you really don’t care about the outcome—frequently.) Are they responding well? Have a friendly invitation ready, and have fun. Note: If at first you don’t succeed, fuck it! Do not feel awkward or bad. Say hi next time you see them, and start looking for your next crush. At this rate, you’re going to get laid—and make collateral friends along the way—at a nearly alarming rate.
“It’s hard to imagine a Henry David Thoreau emerging from this millennial generation, someone motivated to log two years and two months alone in the woods around Walden and wax about how he “never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” He’d have no time to observe the bullfrogs or water his bean plants. He’d be too busy searching for a Wi-Fi signal.”—The End of Alone - The Boston Globe (via buyhercandy) (via unicornology)
Karl Marx: Life’s not fair, let’s all share!Emile Durkheim: You get the ankles, I’ll get the wrists.
Max Weber: All work and no play…
Georg Simmel: I feel like I am ze Country Mouse in ze Zitty, Ja?
Jurgen Habermas: Why can’t we all just get along?
Talcott Parsons: I have a diagram that explains EVERYTHING!
Pierre Bourdieu: Kids, stay in school.
Michel Foucault: Er… donnez-moi le gagball.
Erving Goffman: Where’s that #$@%!! waiter?
Jean Baudrillard: Real=fake; life=Disneyland
Robert Merton: Sometimes things happen for bad reasons and sometimes we can’t see the reasons right away.
Herbert Blumer: It’s all in your mind.
Louis Althusser: It’s not in your mind.
C. Levi-Strauss: Myths are cool.
Amitai Etzioni: C’mon people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, we’ve got to love one another right now
Clifford Geertz: Ooh, look, a cock fight! How Shakespearean!
Randall Collins: (sung) Let me entertain you…
Rational Choice Theory: Choose, or lose.
British Cultural Studies: It’s not so bad to spend time in front of the telly.
“My kids are starting to notice I’m a little different from the other dads. “Why don’t you have a straight job like everyone else?” they asked me the other day. I told them this story: In the forest, there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree, “Look at me…I’m tall, and I’m straight, and I’m handsome. Look at you…you’re all crooked and bent over. No one wants to look at you.” And they grew up in that forest together. And then one day the loggers came, and they saw the crooked tree and the straight tree, and they said, “Just cut the straight trees and leave the rest.” So the loggers turned all the straight trees into lumber and toothpicks and paper. And the crooked tree is still there, growing stronger and stranger every day.”—Tom Waits (via elegantslum)
“I have come gradually to understand that the liberal arts cliché about teaching you how to think is actually shorthand for a much deeper, more serious idea: learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed.”—David Foster Wallace (via honkshu) (via syntheticpubes)